of course. lets lasso hookers.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
