We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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