The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize