My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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