You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize