from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
