It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
