that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
high people should be assigned attendants
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
