I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
