I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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