We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
