She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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