Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
