Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
