He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
