i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize