my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
