Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
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