You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Randomize
