Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
