can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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