The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
