Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
