This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
