You just made me feel so damn special
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
