dude i'm inner monologue high
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Of course I have a pirate flag
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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