My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize