like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
