he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
