I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
babies were throwing up all over the place
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
