Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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