I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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