i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Why are your pants in the freezer?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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