his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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