I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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