She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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