Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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