you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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