Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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