i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
