I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
