The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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