Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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