One girl and one boy is just not enough.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
