I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
