my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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