I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
