Have you finally orgasmed yet?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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