if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Come on in and take your pants off
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