Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
