So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
