I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
i believe in u and ur pee
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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