Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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