from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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