While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
