Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
