apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
