Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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