Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
May the power of my ass compel you!!
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize
