why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
