We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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