she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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