physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
