i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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