I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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