arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
